Attempting to Translate Tagore
As a young child, i was briefly trained in Indian classical music, a largely devotional form, dedicated to the veneration of Hindu deities. i wasn't particularly interested in it, for, even as a child, i had a sneaking suspicion that god was a figment of adult imaginations, and religion a farce to sustain their delusions, while imposing control on me and my fellow children. But alongside the devotionals, i was also taught a modern, secular form of Indian lyricism: রবীন্দ্রসংগীত — the musical works of Rabindranath Tagore, in which he wrote secular lyrics to accompany the melodic frames of Indian classical music.
Unsurprisingly, i dropped out of these classes very quickly due to my aforementioned disinterest, though i am told that i was fairly competent, and my exam results reflect the claim. Well over a decade has passed since then, and while the devotionals have disappeared from my memory entirely, i do remember one song by Rabindranath Tagore quite vividly: আলো আমার, আলো ওগো, and i'd like to take a stab at translating it.
Now, Tagore was famous for translating his own writings into English, but i'd like to try my hand at it as well, as practice, and i will enclose Tagore's own translation at the end.
But first, the text itself:
আলো আমার, আলো ওগো, আলো ভুবন-ভরা ।
আলো নয়ন-ধোওয়া আমার, আলো হৃদয়-হরা ।নাচে আলো নাচে, ও ভাই, আমার প্রাণের কচ্ছে,
বাজে আলো বাজে, ও ভাই, হৃদয়বীণার মাঝে,
জাগে আকাশ, ছোটে বাতাস, হাসে সকল ধরা ।আলোর স্রোতে পাল তুলেছে হাজার প্রজাপতি
আলোর ঢেউয়ে উঠল মেতে মল্লিকা মালতী ।মেঘে মেঘে সোনা, ও ভাই যায়না মানিক গোনা,
পাতায় পাতায় হাসি ও ভাই, পুলক রাশি রাশি ।
সুরনদীর কূল ডুবেছে সুধা-নিঝর-ঝরা ।
Here is how i translated it:
My light, o light, light-filled world,
My eyes, awash with light, my heart, lightbound.Light dances in my soul,
Light rings in my heartstrings,
The skies awaken, the wind rises, the earth roars with laughter.A thousand butterflies take flight in a stream of light,
Lilies and jasmine dance in waves of light.The clouds are shot with shards of gold, innumerable jewels,
Leaves laugh, brimming with joy,
The rivers of paradise have broken their banks, flooding radiance through the land.
It would appear that poetry, in contrast to prose, is far, far tougher to translate. i could not maintain the lyricism, nor the meter of the original and had to settle for conveying an approximation of the text's intent.
And finally, Tagore's own translation:
Light, my light, the world-filling light,
the eye-kissing light, heart-sweetening light!Ah, the light dances, my darling, at the centre of my life;
the light strikes, my darling, the chords of my love;
the sky opens, the wind runs wild, laughter passes over the earth.The butterflies spread their sails on the sea of light. Lilies and jasmines surge up on the crest of the waves of light.
The light is shattered into gold on every cloud, my darling, and it scatters gems in profusion.
Mirth spreads from leaf to leaf, my darling, and gladness without measure.
The heaven's river has drowned its banks and the flood of joy is abroad.1